The Grief and the Guilt: The Realities of Putting a Parent Into a Nursing Home
It is one of the things that occur in life that we can never prepare ourselves for. Nobody wants to be faced with the challenge of putting a parent in a nursing home. It's hard to know that your parent needs round-the-clock care which you might not be able to give by yourself, not to mention the fact that there's a variety of conflicting emotions. Care is definitely improving as time has progressed, with care management software in healthcare being one of the biggest factors. But what are the things that you need to know, and how can you make the realities of putting your parent into a nursing home easier for everyone?
Dealing With Nursing Home Guilt
When you put someone in a nursing home, you could feel overcome with a variety of emotions, like anxiety, guilt, and a sense of loss. It's a very common thing to feel in a situation. It's important to remember that in these circumstances, there's a lot you need to consider, especially when we think about the circumstances of being put in a nursing home. For example, there are concerns relating to abuse and neglect in nursing home environments. But there are things that can help.
In a professional sense, there are highly experienced nursing home abuse lawyers and in a personal sense, there is help and support. Regardless of how these emotions are, you can feel isolated, stressed, and may struggle to think clearly. When you experience “caregiver guilt,” these feelings can last some time. It's important for you to learn how to deal with it. Some tips to deal with this include:
Seeking reconciliation with your parent for unresolved conflicts.
Reminding yourself that your parent is safer in a home.
Giving yourself time to grieve.
This last thing is very important because learning to give yourself time to grieve is not just something that is associated with death, but when you are putting your parents into a nursing home, it's going to require that you grieve some aspects of your relationship or their lives. Many people describe having gone through the grieving process when they put their parent into a nursing home more so than the actual death of the parent.
Planning for the Move
It's so important to be proactive and conduct research, and this will give you a better sense of preparation if an emergency happens so you have to make quick decisions. You shouldn't rush the decision-making process. You need to remember that when it comes to putting a parent in a nursing home that you shouldn't make the decision lightly and under duress. This is why it's far better to collaborate with the parents and the rest of the family. Partly, you can think about the differences between nursing home care and assisted living. It's important to consider what type of care your parent needs, and to research the requirements and services for a local assisted living center. These are two very different definitions.
You should also make sure that your parent has the input as much as possible. When they refuse to go into any form of care, it could be because they feel coerced into doing this. You must be sensitive to your parent’s feelings. And if your parent has the ability to contribute to the decision-making, it has to be down to the fact that they are the person in charge of the decision. It's also important to get your siblings involved. This can cause many conflicts which can undermine the planning process. If you have siblings, you should contact them as soon as possible to help them contribute to the planning and finding options for assisted living. This may mean you'll have to overcome resentments or disagreements. But it's not about the two of you, it is about your parent.
Making the Transition Go as Smoothly as Possible
This can be a very stressful time, and you will have a variety of intense emotions, and it will also be emotional for your parents. And at this point, they could lash out, this is why you have to prepare yourself for a stressful period. But you must remember that the stress will be temporary, and you can prepare for the end of the transition by arranging something fun and relaxing for you and your family. It's also important to liaise with the care facility so you can make sure they are getting the best treatment possible, especially if the care facility offers a buddy system for new residents. And of course, if you have any concerns, you've got to remember that the initial few weeks will require the staff to get up to speed.
It is one of the best ways for older people to maintain their independence and as time goes on, everybody will feel more or settled into the situation, this is why it's important to give it time. It's not easy, but it's something that happens to many other people before you.
