From Strangers to Friends: How Do People Make Connections?

Humans are inherently social beings - we have a burning desire to connect. From sharing stories to discovering common interests, the journey from stranger to friend is exciting and challenging. Especially over the last few years, both because of the increasing use of technology and because of the pandemic, there has been talk of an epidemic of loneliness.

And while people in the twenty-first century seem to be more connected to each other than ever, the reality is that technology is far from a substitute for real connection.

So, how do people make lasting connections and build meaningful relationships?

First contact

The first step in establishing a relationship is always first contact. Whether it's a simple greeting or a smile, this is the first step that starts what can develop into a real friendship. Even gestures such as holding the door or making idle conversation about the weather show a willingness to engage with others.

While for a long time, the first contacts were made during smoke breaks with a cigarette, nowadays, such breaks are often accompanied by alternatives to cigarettes, such as the Ploom heated tobacco system (https://www.ploom.lt/lt).

Yes, smoking is a nasty habit, but if you are currently unable to quit, this new and exciting technology can be a conversation starter. Discussing it can lead to discussions about other hobbies later.

Contact is the first step, and shared interests and experiences are crucial in the follow-up communication. Whether it is a common interest such as the gym, theatre, books, or the same profession, commonality is the basis for deeper conversations and communication. It makes it easier for people to open up to each other.

Active listening and empathy

Active listening and empathy become essential tools for building rapport in conversations. When people feel heard and understood, they are likelier to feel a sense of friendship. By genuinely engaging in conversations and expressing empathy for each other's experiences, people seem to be demonstrating their commitment to each other to continue a meaningful relationship.

Participating in joint activities can also accelerate the process of building a connection. Whether collaborating on a project, attending an event, or experiencing the challenges of a sports team, shared activities foster a bond beyond mere acquaintance. This creates lasting memories and stories that contribute to the relationship’s growth.

Vulnerability and authenticity

Opening up and revealing your true self is essential in the journey from stranger to friend. Showing vulnerability and sharing personal stories creates a sense of authenticity that deepens the connection. When both people feel safe enough to be honest, trust develops, leading to deeper and lasting friendships.

However, maintaining a relationship requires constant effort and nurturing. Regular communication, whether face-to-face meetings, text messages, or virtual conversations, shows commitment to the relationship.

Furthermore, investing time and effort in understanding each other's lives and emotions shows a genuine interest in the other's well-being. Celebrating important moments such as birthdays and holidays and being involved in each other's lives helps avoid the relationship’s stagnation and keeps it moving forward.

Support and encouragement

Support and encouragement during ups and downs strengthen the bond between people. Being there for each other during difficult times and celebrating their successes builds a sense of mutual care. This emotional support is an integral part of friendship.

As the relationship matures, shared values and respect for each other's opinions and beliefs become increasingly important. Although differences may arise, a foundation of mutual respect allows friends to communicate constructively and resolve differences without damaging the relationship

Taking small steps

For those who are shy or who simply find it difficult to make connections, the path from strangers to friends can seem daunting. But there are a few strategies that can help even the most reticent to build meaningful relationships. First, it is essential to realize that many others also experience similar feelings of anxiety. Stepping out of your comfort zone in small, manageable steps can gradually increase your confidence in social situations.

Engage in activities that genuinely interest you - this will create a natural environment in which conversations are more accessible. Use active listening skills to show genuine interest in others and contribute to discussions without the pressure of being the center of attention.

Online platforms and social networks can also be valuable tools for making connections. Remember that friendships take time to develop, so be patient and celebrate even minor achievements.

Advice for the timid

Start the conversation with a simple smile and brief eye contact. A smile shows friendliness and eye contact shows you are ready to communicate. This will help break the ice.

If planning a group activity, prepare some open-ended questions to help you initiate conversation with people you may or may not know. Ask about hobbies, recent events, or mutual acquaintances. This will reduce the stress of worrying about what to say and encourage others to talk more about themselves.

Concentrate on what the other person is saying rather than worrying about what you will say next. Nodding and reactions such as "Oh, that's interesting" will show that you are engaged in the conversation.

Discovering shared interests or experiences can be a natural way to connect with new people if you find a topic that you both like, it will create a more comfortable atmosphere and help the conversation run more smoothly whether it's a TV show, a hobby or travel.

If face-to-face interactions are intimidating, engage in group conversations - this works well at parties or even in the office. Group conversations involve several people, allowing you to observe and contribute when you see fit. Of course, try to interject at least sometimes. Over time it will become easier to start conversations with people.