The friends-with-benefits situation is an age-old thing. There’s no shame in it. In fact, having a friend with benefits can be very convenient, as you get the fun without the future, if that’s what you want. However, there are rules for being friends with benefits that should be carefully followed, so the relationship thrives.

There is a lot to love about the idea of no strings attached sex with someone that you like and respect but don’t want a future with. However, friends with benefits can be tricky if you don’t set any ground rules. Are allowed to tell other people that you’re hooking up or is it a secret? It is okay to cancel a hookup in favor of a real date with someone else? Should you be both be getting tested somewhere like Tarrant County if you’re also seeing other people? What happens if one friend starts to catch feelings for the other? How will you address this? When the line starts to blur, things can get messy, and your fun hookup can become a source of drama. 

To avoid confusion, awkwardness, and disappointments, here are some things to keep in mind. Every friends with benefits arrangement is different, but these are some of the hard and fast rules that you should pay attention to before getting in deep with a friend. 

Choose Someone Honest

You need to make sure that you are both open about everything. Both of you should be on the same page in case one of you starts to develop feelings for the other. The same rules apply if one of you wants to end the arrangement. You both need to be okay with the end result, so trust and communication are key. It could be worth using an app such as SkipTheGames to find your friend with benefits, that way you both know exactly what you are getting into with no risk of confusion.

Speak Your Mind

The main point of having a friend with benefits is to have fantastic sex. Be upfront about what you like and don’t like in bed, and encourage your partner to do the same. You don’t have to try anything that you don’t feel comfortable with, but let each other know what you’re into and see if you have a shared sexual fantasy that you can live out. 

Ensure You’re Emotionally Ready

Casual can quickly become anything but casual if you aren’t emotionally prepared for it. Some people are able to disassociate the act from the emotion, but others do struggle to do this, which is okay. A lot of people are programmed to feel connected to someone after they sleep with them, so you need to make sure that you’re okay with having sex with someone that won’t lead to anything deeper. 

Practice Safe Sex

Always practice safe sex. Use condoms with your friend with benefits. Condoms prevent you from getting pregnant with a partner that you aren’t interested in long-term, but they also make sure that you stay free from STDs. This is important when you’re having sex with someone that you aren’t monogamous with. You don’t want to risk messing up what should be a fun time for you both. 

Keep Your Eyes And Heart Open For New Relationships

In other words, try not to get too comfortable or close yourself off from finding someone that want to have an actual relationship with. You don’t want to miss out on getting to know someone great for you just because you have an arrangement with a friend. 

Don’t Have Sleepovers

Having sleepovers can confuse things. You want to keep yourself from getting emotionally attached, so sleeping next to your friend with benefits, and waking up next to them, is very intimate. Say good night, take a shower, and get into bed feeling relaxed, satisfied, and comfortable with the fact that they went home. 

Don’t Cuddle

In a similar vein, be careful with cuddling. If you have an arrangement where cuddling is on the table, then, by all means, cuddle up. Otherwise, try not to do this. Cuddling also encourages intimacy, which is a no-no with your friend with benefits. You want to try to keep things simple, and a cuddle can complicate things. 

Don’t Expect Bells And Whistles

Don’t expect anything that is like an actual relationship from your friend with benefits. You shouldn’t be going out of your way to plan anything that is romantic for the two of you wither. Don’t have fancy dinners, bring flowers or gifts, or play games. When you have a friend with benefits, you’re only having casual sex and maybe some conversation, and that’s it.