We aren't all born with oodles of self-confidence. In fact, people aren't actually born with self-confidence at all. It is something they develop as they age and develop. But here's the problem. While many of us can become more confident, some of us become less so as time goes on. People can put us down and make us doubt our own abilities. We can fail at certain things and see our confidence levels drop as a result. And we can be naturally anxious when faced with dilemmas and obstacles in our life, and this can also cause us to lose confidence if we let our anxieties get the better of us.

So, the message for you dear reader is this. Don't worry if you're not as confident as you want to be. Don't be alarmed if your confidence levels haven't yet reached Empire State Building proportions. We aren't all as brave and fearless as we want to be. However, we can still take steps to build our self-confidence, and if you're relating to you, this can include the following.

#1: Unfollow the people who make you feel insecure

People have a powerful impact on our lives. Some of them can lift us up, and some of them can put us down. So, if there is anybody in your life that makes you feel insecure, stop following them. And by 'following' we aren't talking solely about social media. And we're obviously not talking about stalking them. Rather, we are thinking of those people whose every word you hinge on; those people that you base your thoughts and feelings of self-worth on. If they make you feel rubbish, distance yourself from them! This includes the people you have to be in close proximity with. You don't have to take to heart the hurtful words they feed you, so block them out and replace their words with something more positive.   

#2: Surround yourself with the people who support you

As a follow on from the last point, spend more time with the people who make you feel good about yourself. We are thinking of those people that you feel comfortable spending time with; those people who leave you with a smile on your face and with feelings of elation. Of course, we aren't talking to people who will lie to you just to make you feel good. We aren't referring to people who will insincerely pamper your ego. Rather, we are thinking about those people who genuinely care for you and who want to help you be the best person that you can be. If these people make you feel good and give you a boost to your confidence levels, spend as much time as you can with them. In these pandemic times, this might mean regular Zoom calls or conversations on the phone. 

#3: Focus on your appearance

If there is anything about your appearance that is knocking your self-confidence, deal with it. Again, we know it's easier said than done, but there are some basic things you can to help yourself. If you're too afraid to open your mouth because of wonky or discolored teeth, a trip to the dentist might be beneficial to you. If you feel down because you're carrying excess weight, you might want to download a few workout apps to help you shed the pounds. These are just a couple of examples, but we're sure you catch the drift. And when talking about your appearance, consider the clothes you wear. Sometimes a new outfit can reinvigorate the way we feel, especially when it is something that is smart and more comfortable to wear, so add something to your wardrobe if you have the spending power to do so. 

#4: Be your own cheerleader

It's great when other people cheer us on, but when they're in short supply, we sometimes have to do it ourselves. We know this can be hard to do when we're feeling rubbish, as we tend to put ourselves down instead of lifting ourselves up. But try to avoid this if you can, because you should be able to think of reasons why you should feel encouraged. At the start of each day, keep in mind the successes you have experienced in the past. Remember all of your good qualities and list them in your head. You might even write down some of these things and stick them to your wall, as you will have something to remind you of how wonderful you are. You might then start the day with a positive mindset, and that could do much to shape how the rest of your day goes. Here are some affirmation quotes to help you cheer yourself onwards. 

#5: Just do it!

Do what, we hear you ask? Well, that depends on you. For those things you really want to do but have been too afraid to try, let this year be the year of change. If you know you need to go back to school to get a new qualification, just do it! If you have been putting off driving lessons for years, just book them! If you have been too afraid to ask the girl or guy of your dreams out on a date, just open your mouth! And yes, we know we are simplifying things here, especially when you have excuses and fears that get the better of you. But here's a motto worth remembering:

If you want something you have never had before, you have got to do something you have never done before! 

So, don't let this year go by without trying to attain your goals. Yes, you might have to find money to achieve some of them. You might need to commit to research for advice on the way forward. And you might even need to seek the counsel of another for guidance and support. But do what needs to be done, as your confidence levels won't rise if you let your anxieties rule your thoughts. When you have achieved what you may have thought impossible, you will receive that boost to your self-esteem.

#6: Give yourself a break

Listen, there will be times when you fail. It sucks, but failure doesn't have to define you. When you make mistakes this year, pick yourself up and try again. If you persevere long enough, you will eventually stop falling. And if you can't stop falling, enlist somebody to help you conquer your obstacles. This is better than giving up, especially where your self-confidence is concerned. So, give yourself a break. Don't beat yourself up every time you do something wrong. You're not perfect, but you can get better. And this applies to all other aspects of your life. Show yourself more grace instead of dwelling on the negative side of your life. There will be things about you that are good, so concentrate on them while seeking to improve anything that is in your power to change. Your confidence levels will grow if you do.

#7: Do more of what you're good at

We aren't telling you not to try new things. However, you should also add to the mix those things that you know you are good at as you are almost guaranteed to feel better about yourself when you do. So, think about your skills and work on those. Whether you're a painter, a musician, a writer, or something else besides, do what you're good at and benefit from the confidence you will feel when you do or create something great. Then do them some more, especially if they bring you happiness and joy in your life. After all, you owe it to yourself to feel good inside. 

So, here's to a more confident you. Do whatever it takes, as this time next year, you might be in a better place than where you are at the moment.

Take care and thanks for reading.