Whether you’re looking for a cozy nest or a sprawling mansion, buying property is as big as deciding to watch all seasons of a show in one go – it’s a major commitment! But hold your horses (or your house-warming party plans), because there are certain features in a property that should make you pause and ponder. Let’s take a stroll through the land of real estate red flags.

1. An Overabundance of wildlife

Real estate agents, if they are being totally honest, will tell you that if you notice more wildlife on the property than at your local zoo, you might want to think twice about making a bid on the place. Yes, animals are pretty cute, but you’ll find them a lot less cute when they’re digging up the garden, burrowing into the kitchen to eat all of your stuff, and gnawing away at the electrics, right?

2. A Soggy Yard Space

A perpetually wet yard can be a sign of poor drainage or even worse, a hidden swamp. Unless you’re planning to reenact scenes from ‘Shrek,’ a soggy yard could spell trouble because no one wants to be knee-deep in bog when they’re trying to relax and have a BBQ with the family, right?

3. The House of Squeaks and Creaks

If walking through the house feels like you’re in a horror movie with all the creaking floors and rattling windows, you may want to reconsider. These sounds aren’t just the building settling; they’re the cries of an old, weary house in need of some serious TLC.

4. An Abundance of For Sale Signs

Take a gander at the neighborhood, and if there are more ‘For Sale’ signs than trees, it could be a red flag. It’s like being the last one standing in a game of musical chairs. Why is everyone leaving? Is there a local boogeyman?

5. Patchy Paint Jobs

Patchy paint jobs are like bad makeup – they’re trying to hide something. Be wary of freshly painted walls or ceilings, especially if it’s just a patch here and there. It could be covering up mold, water damage, or a portal to another dimension (okay, maybe not the last one).

6. Cracks and Gaps Galore

When checking out a property, it’s so very important to watch out for significant cracks in the walls or foundation. These are like the wrinkles of a house, but they don’t signify wisdom, just potential problems. Cracks could indicate structural issues that can be as expensive to fix as buying a small island.

7. Bathroom Issues

Give the bathroom more than a cursory glance. Check for mold, weak water pressure, or a toilet that runs more than Forrest Gump. Bathroom issues can be a sign of plumbing nightmares that lurk beneath.

8. Dodgy DIY

Beware of the DIY disaster. If it looks like the previous owner fancied themselves as a bit of a Bob the Builder but had the skills of a bull in a china shop, tread carefully. Dodgy DIY work can be costly to rectify and might be hiding more serious issues.

9. Funky Smells

Trust your nose always. If you’re greeted by a whiff of something funky, and it’s not leftover pizza, be alert. Musty smells could indicate dampness or mold, while a sulfuric stench could mean gas leaks. It’s like the house is trying to communicate through smells – and not in a good way.

10. The Too-Good-To-Be-True Price Tag

If the price seems too good to be true, it probably is. It’s like finding designer shoes at a ridiculously low price – you might end up with a knock-off or something that falls apart after a week.

11. Neighbors with Issues

Do a bit of eavesdropping or chit-chat with potential neighbors. They can offer invaluable insights about the area, the property, or even the reasons behind the sale, and if they have anything bad to say or you don’t vibe much with them at all, it could be time to think again.

12. Room Sizes You Aren’t Sure Of

Don’t just eyeball room sizes if you want to make the right decision. If you have big furniture, measure the rooms properly, and don’t take it on faith the room looks too big or small as that way errors can be made, and you know you don’t want to find out on moving day that your beloved, king-size bed is more like a wall-to-wall mattress in your new bedroom.

Buying real estate can be a bit of an adventure, or more accurately, a misadventure, if you don’t know what you are doing but are armed with these tell-tale things urging you to take pause and think twice, you’ve got it all in hand, right?